Was in the shower this morning when a picture of my friend Roman carrying his brand new little girl in his arms appeared in my head. Then the words started coming, and still wet, I stepped out and wrote this. Then I made a call to Archie, who has been huge in helping me arrange my songs, to sing him (in a very ugly way) the idea for this song.
I'll post the track when that's done.
(Lyrics have been edited from original post)
Call My Name
Open Your Eyes
My dear one
Come share my dreams
For you
Ooooh how I love you
Run to my arms
My darling
No need to cry
I'm right here
Ooooh how I love you
Come rest, come rest in my embrace
Come rest, come find amazing grace
Call my name!
Call my name!
Call my name!
Just call my name!
Give me your heart
My sweet child
Come feel my love
For you
Ooooh how I love you
Come rest, come rest in my embrace
Come rest, come find amazing grace
Call my name!
Call my name!
Call my name!
Just call my name!
Just call my name!
Just call my name!
Just call my name!
Just call my name!
When you're lost and alone
Call my name, I'll find you
When you're empty and hungry
Call my name, I'll fill you
When you're fearful and ashamed
Call my name, I'll hide you in me...
Call my name...
Call my name...
Call my name...
Call my name...
Call my name!
Call my name!
Call my name!
Just call my name!
Call my name! (I will find you)
Call my name! (I will fill you)
Call my name! (I will hide you)
Just call my name!
Just call my name (how I love you)
Just call my name (how I love you)
Just call my name (how I love you)
Just call my name
Give me your heart
My sweet child...
Friday, June 29, 2012
Recognize His Voice
I’m not of the opinion that one should only read the Bible, though I do believe it is complete in itself. I believe that just as God can speak to us through His nature, and just as He has used animals to speak to prophets, He can speak to us through other books, other articles, and other mediums.
IF…
…we can recognize His voice.
From We're Failing Men.
IF…
…we can recognize His voice.
From We're Failing Men.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Moments With My Hero
My father, Joey Bonifacio, is my hero. I can't say I've always obeyed, I think I've disobeyed more. I can't say I was always honoring, though I've tried my best. I can't say I have always been grateful, but every time I think about my dad, I pause and thank God. In some ways I know I have made him proud, and I've done the exact opposite in others, and I know there will be more ups and downs because that's life. But on Father's Day I want to share a few of the conversations, quotes, and moments with my Pop.
On Humility:
"If I found a girl like mom, would you give your blessing?"
"Of course! Your mom is the greatest."
"If you had a daughter, and she found a guy like you, would you give your blessing?"
"Umm… maybe not. I was really nuts."
On Faith:
From my dad's text to me at 4:30am! "...all that to say the unlimited greatness of His power is available today and everyday by faith. The most important muscle one can have. He is our Father and He alone is able to uphold us by His mighty power. This we do not by performing but simply by believing. Nothing pleases God more than faith."
On Friendships: "I really don't know where I would be now if your mom and I didn't have Steve and Deborah Murrell."
"It's better that you get the short-end of a deal, than you take advantage of friends."
"When you enter a room, a group, or anything, I want you to know that you're the leader. So you lead those people well."
On Girls:
When we were in high school, my dad would sit us brothers down and say, "See all the prettiest girls in school? You haven't seen nothing yet. Wait until you get to college! There are more girls there."
When we got to college, he said, "See all the prettiest girls on campus? You haven't seen nothing yet. Wait until you start working, and really start meeting girls."
When we graduated college, "You haven't seen nothing yet. Wait until you start traveling and meeting different nationalities and personalities."
- 28 years later, I haven't seen nothing yet.
On Girlfriends:
While getting mad at us brothers for picking on the only girl in the family:"If any of you hurts your mom or makes her cry, you're going to get it from me! Don't mess with my girlfriend! I love you guys but I love her more"
On Love:
My dad: "Who loves David?"
Me: "God."
My dad: "Who else?"
Me: "Mom."
My dad: "Grabe ka naman. I was talking about me."
On Marriage:
When we were kids he sat us down and said, "When you get married half of everything you own belongs to your wife. That means half your lego and half your GI Joes."
On Having A Wife:
"Your mother can really drive me nuts! Get a wife like her."
"I'm really blessed to have your mom. She's the sweetest, kindest person I know, and she's so beautiful too. Look at her."
"One of the things I love most about your mom is that she stayed."
"Marry a woman who can tell what's ugly about you and make you love her more for it."
"Marry a woman whose face you'd like to see every morning."
"My prayer is that you will marry a woman like your mother."
"A guy like you needs to marry a woman like your mother."
"Marry a woman like your mother."
Me, during one of these 'marry someone like your mother' moments: "I thought you said there's no one in the world like mom?"
My dad: "Don't be a smart ass."
On Sex:
"Sex is so amazing!"
On Fighting:
After Joe and I had a bloody fist fight with each other that woke my dad up, he said, "I hope you two will fight for each other as ferociously as you did each other tonight."
On Being A Father:
"Don't be so arrogant. I made you!"
After every spanking he ever gave me, "Do you know why I know you so well?" "Why?" "Because you're exactly like me."
"I hope that you'll enjoy being a father as much as I have."
On Beauty:
My younger brother asked my dad, "Who is more beautiful? Mom or Monica Bellucci?" My dad, without missing a beat, "Your mom."My brothers and I started laughing at how biased he was, "100 points for Joey Bonifacio! Someone is going to have a great night!" Then he said, "There's no use explaining this to you, because you won't understand. But you will someday, and you'll know why your mom's the most beautiful girl in the world."
On Hope:
"David, our only hope is really Jesus. There's so many things we think we know but we don't really. Put your hope in Jesus."
On Forgiveness:
On our last trip to the US, while waiting for our connecting flight to Orlando, my dad told me,"When I think about my life's mistakes. When I think about how many evil things I've done, how many people I've hurt, I can only really go back to God's grace. And really, when you've been forgiven much, you love much."
On Death:
"On your death bed, the only things you'll have around you are the relationships you built."
When I was leaving for Afghanistan (back in 2004), my dad had a conversation with me and said:"You do know that there's a chance you're never coming back? You can really die."
Me: "Pop, you were the one who told me that I shouldn't fear death."
My Dad: "Ok. Just wanted to make sure you understood. You're going to have an adventure!"
Me: "Besides, if I die, my blood will be like Abel's, it will cry out to God from the ground…"
My Dad: "Ok, don't tell your mother that."
On Legacy:
"When I die I want this on my epitaph: God's friend, Marie's best friend, and father of Joseph, David, and Joshua. That's all I want to be remembered for."
On Humility:
"If I found a girl like mom, would you give your blessing?"
"Of course! Your mom is the greatest."
"If you had a daughter, and she found a guy like you, would you give your blessing?"
"Umm… maybe not. I was really nuts."
On Faith:
From my dad's text to me at 4:30am! "...all that to say the unlimited greatness of His power is available today and everyday by faith. The most important muscle one can have. He is our Father and He alone is able to uphold us by His mighty power. This we do not by performing but simply by believing. Nothing pleases God more than faith."
On Friendships: "I really don't know where I would be now if your mom and I didn't have Steve and Deborah Murrell."
"It's better that you get the short-end of a deal, than you take advantage of friends."
"When you enter a room, a group, or anything, I want you to know that you're the leader. So you lead those people well."
On Girls:
When we were in high school, my dad would sit us brothers down and say, "See all the prettiest girls in school? You haven't seen nothing yet. Wait until you get to college! There are more girls there."
When we got to college, he said, "See all the prettiest girls on campus? You haven't seen nothing yet. Wait until you start working, and really start meeting girls."
When we graduated college, "You haven't seen nothing yet. Wait until you start traveling and meeting different nationalities and personalities."
- 28 years later, I haven't seen nothing yet.
On Girlfriends:
While getting mad at us brothers for picking on the only girl in the family:"If any of you hurts your mom or makes her cry, you're going to get it from me! Don't mess with my girlfriend! I love you guys but I love her more"
On Love:
My dad: "Who loves David?"
Me: "God."
My dad: "Who else?"
Me: "Mom."
My dad: "Grabe ka naman. I was talking about me."
On Marriage:
When we were kids he sat us down and said, "When you get married half of everything you own belongs to your wife. That means half your lego and half your GI Joes."
On Having A Wife:
"Your mother can really drive me nuts! Get a wife like her."
"I'm really blessed to have your mom. She's the sweetest, kindest person I know, and she's so beautiful too. Look at her."
"One of the things I love most about your mom is that she stayed."
"Marry a woman who can tell what's ugly about you and make you love her more for it."
"Marry a woman whose face you'd like to see every morning."
"My prayer is that you will marry a woman like your mother."
"A guy like you needs to marry a woman like your mother."
"Marry a woman like your mother."
Me, during one of these 'marry someone like your mother' moments: "I thought you said there's no one in the world like mom?"
My dad: "Don't be a smart ass."
On Sex:
"Sex is so amazing!"
On Fighting:
After Joe and I had a bloody fist fight with each other that woke my dad up, he said, "I hope you two will fight for each other as ferociously as you did each other tonight."
On Being A Father:
"Don't be so arrogant. I made you!"
After every spanking he ever gave me, "Do you know why I know you so well?" "Why?" "Because you're exactly like me."
"I hope that you'll enjoy being a father as much as I have."
On Beauty:
My younger brother asked my dad, "Who is more beautiful? Mom or Monica Bellucci?" My dad, without missing a beat, "Your mom."My brothers and I started laughing at how biased he was, "100 points for Joey Bonifacio! Someone is going to have a great night!" Then he said, "There's no use explaining this to you, because you won't understand. But you will someday, and you'll know why your mom's the most beautiful girl in the world."
On Hope:
"David, our only hope is really Jesus. There's so many things we think we know but we don't really. Put your hope in Jesus."
On Forgiveness:
On our last trip to the US, while waiting for our connecting flight to Orlando, my dad told me,"When I think about my life's mistakes. When I think about how many evil things I've done, how many people I've hurt, I can only really go back to God's grace. And really, when you've been forgiven much, you love much."
On Death:
"On your death bed, the only things you'll have around you are the relationships you built."
When I was leaving for Afghanistan (back in 2004), my dad had a conversation with me and said:"You do know that there's a chance you're never coming back? You can really die."
Me: "Pop, you were the one who told me that I shouldn't fear death."
My Dad: "Ok. Just wanted to make sure you understood. You're going to have an adventure!"
Me: "Besides, if I die, my blood will be like Abel's, it will cry out to God from the ground…"
My Dad: "Ok, don't tell your mother that."
On Legacy:
"When I die I want this on my epitaph: God's friend, Marie's best friend, and father of Joseph, David, and Joshua. That's all I want to be remembered for."
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Friday, June 15, 2012
Woke Up
Woke up to the sunrise
Woke up from a new dream
Woke up to a new day
Woke up to a new way
Woke up to old promises
Woke up to new mercies
Woke up to a tender heart
Woke up without fear
Woke up from a new dream
Woke up to a new day
Woke up to a new way
Woke up to old promises
Woke up to new mercies
Woke up to a tender heart
Woke up without fear
The Crush
I get asked variations of this "who's your crush?" question quite often and the answer is:
I don't want "a" crush. I want "THE" crush. Who I may reveal at the end of the post so you better read the whole thing.
It never made sense to me to give a person my extra attention, my thoughts, my imagination, my feelings, and/or my admiration just because someone was good-looking, successful, famous, or excellent. If someone was pretty, she would be just that, a pretty girl, and really didn't think more about it, google her photos, or research about her.
I don't like shallow things, and I've had my shallow times, and giving my attention to someone who didn't really care about me has zero appeal to me.
For me, it was, if there was a girl I liked, I would go out with her, she was my crush. She was my celebrity crush, my normal girl crush, my old crush, my young crush, my foreign crush, my local crush. She had all my attention - sometimes too much attention.
My big influence in thinking this way is my father. I remember asking him when I was very young, "Who's your crush, Pop?" He looked at me like I was asking him a stupid question, and he answered, "Who else? Your mom."
And that was the only discussion on crushes we ever had - and that I ever needed.
That stuck with me, that no-reservations dedication to one person. That his mind, will, and emotions, imaginations, and actions were pointed at making it work with one person, my mom.
I saw this displayed in how he would interrupt me in my room, say he wanted to show me something, only to find out that he had been spying on my mom cooking. He would tell me, "Isn't she cute? You get a wife like her."
I see how this has also influenced my brothers. Joshua has Krisite and Kristie has joshua. They may not have too many of the other things figured out yet, but when it comes to the question, "Who's your partner?" The answer is fixed. Joseph too once told me something like, "I love the feeling of having one woman. I think of one girl. I serve one girl. I deal with one girl's issues. I spend time with one girl. I dream with one girl. I love one girl. You single guys have it hard."
I remember trying to give Joseph advice that I thought was smart, warning him, "If this happens you're stuck with her, just her, for the rest of your life!" I remember Joe telling me, "That's the point, David." My prediction did come true, he's now stuck with Carla, but he's better for it.
Looking back, even during difficult times, when my parents would fight, which is more often than most people might think, and since I was home a lot, my dad would start talking to me about how women can be so nuts, how they spend so much, how they don't know how to stick to schedules, how they change the rules, and before you know it, his tone would completely change and he'd be going on and on about how "the house smells nice because of your mom", that "she really makes this home beautiful", that "she really has been so devoted to me", and how "she's the most beautiful girl in the world", and how "it's my dream for you that you will marry someone like your mother, who will be your partner and your best friend." Then my dad would walk out, write a sorry note with toothpaste on her dresser mirror, or buy flowers and sashimi, or start a call barrage until she answered, or prepare some endearingly simple message that always had the words "I'm sorry" and "I love you".
There was no escape, not physical, not intellectual, not emotional, so they worked it out. They had each other, and that was that.
Back then I found the whole thing amusing, this almost childish fascination with one woman. These days we think it's a sign of maturity to be able to go out with different people without building attachments. I know I believed that once. When people would ask me to describe my dream wife, I would say, "A harem." and my favorite part in the book of Esther was how King Xerxes got to choose his wife. For those of you who don't know the story, he basically had his officials send all the hottest girls in the kingdom to him so that he could have one night with each of them and choose which one he liked best. Now if you have a big kingdom that's a lot of nights.
How stupid I was to think that more is more. How stupid I was to think that more options means greater happiness. Just like more drinks won't make you happier, they will only make you drunk, more shallow relationships will only make it harder. The more I think about life, and one does a lot of thinking when living alone, the more I realize how upside down the popular culture of this world has it. Here's my realization:
To truly enjoy the depths of relationship, complete exclusivity is required. The more exclusive you are, the more everything is offered, the deeper, the more fulfilling the joy. If you need more than one person to make you feel special, you're in trouble, because that means you're still so affected by the shallows around you. Your needs have made you shallow yourself.
This is why I can't write this post without going back to God. Because He really loves exclusively and offers everything. He has everything a man wants, yet He wants me most. He has acted perfectly towards me, yet forgives me. He doesn't need me, yet serves me. He is more beautiful than me, yet He pursues me. This is why no one has to stay in the shallows of their heart.
Maybe I'm becoming more like my dad, changing my tone from "this is ridiculous" to "she's the greatest". Maybe it's because I'm a little older, maybe it's because being the 7th wheel in every family gathering means team David only gets one vote, which is still a big vote with my stubbornness, or maybe the unthinkable has happened.
I once wrote in my post It's About What's Most Important, that someday, I would wave the white flag of surrender and write her name on my blog. In the words of Aragorn from Lord of the Rings, "But it is not this day! This day we fight!"
I don't want "a" crush. I want "THE" crush. Who I may reveal at the end of the post so you better read the whole thing.
It never made sense to me to give a person my extra attention, my thoughts, my imagination, my feelings, and/or my admiration just because someone was good-looking, successful, famous, or excellent. If someone was pretty, she would be just that, a pretty girl, and really didn't think more about it, google her photos, or research about her.
I don't like shallow things, and I've had my shallow times, and giving my attention to someone who didn't really care about me has zero appeal to me.
For me, it was, if there was a girl I liked, I would go out with her, she was my crush. She was my celebrity crush, my normal girl crush, my old crush, my young crush, my foreign crush, my local crush. She had all my attention - sometimes too much attention.
My big influence in thinking this way is my father. I remember asking him when I was very young, "Who's your crush, Pop?" He looked at me like I was asking him a stupid question, and he answered, "Who else? Your mom."
And that was the only discussion on crushes we ever had - and that I ever needed.
That stuck with me, that no-reservations dedication to one person. That his mind, will, and emotions, imaginations, and actions were pointed at making it work with one person, my mom.
I saw this displayed in how he would interrupt me in my room, say he wanted to show me something, only to find out that he had been spying on my mom cooking. He would tell me, "Isn't she cute? You get a wife like her."
I see how this has also influenced my brothers. Joshua has Krisite and Kristie has joshua. They may not have too many of the other things figured out yet, but when it comes to the question, "Who's your partner?" The answer is fixed. Joseph too once told me something like, "I love the feeling of having one woman. I think of one girl. I serve one girl. I deal with one girl's issues. I spend time with one girl. I dream with one girl. I love one girl. You single guys have it hard."
I remember trying to give Joseph advice that I thought was smart, warning him, "If this happens you're stuck with her, just her, for the rest of your life!" I remember Joe telling me, "That's the point, David." My prediction did come true, he's now stuck with Carla, but he's better for it.
Looking back, even during difficult times, when my parents would fight, which is more often than most people might think, and since I was home a lot, my dad would start talking to me about how women can be so nuts, how they spend so much, how they don't know how to stick to schedules, how they change the rules, and before you know it, his tone would completely change and he'd be going on and on about how "the house smells nice because of your mom", that "she really makes this home beautiful", that "she really has been so devoted to me", and how "she's the most beautiful girl in the world", and how "it's my dream for you that you will marry someone like your mother, who will be your partner and your best friend." Then my dad would walk out, write a sorry note with toothpaste on her dresser mirror, or buy flowers and sashimi, or start a call barrage until she answered, or prepare some endearingly simple message that always had the words "I'm sorry" and "I love you".
There was no escape, not physical, not intellectual, not emotional, so they worked it out. They had each other, and that was that.
Back then I found the whole thing amusing, this almost childish fascination with one woman. These days we think it's a sign of maturity to be able to go out with different people without building attachments. I know I believed that once. When people would ask me to describe my dream wife, I would say, "A harem." and my favorite part in the book of Esther was how King Xerxes got to choose his wife. For those of you who don't know the story, he basically had his officials send all the hottest girls in the kingdom to him so that he could have one night with each of them and choose which one he liked best. Now if you have a big kingdom that's a lot of nights.
How stupid I was to think that more is more. How stupid I was to think that more options means greater happiness. Just like more drinks won't make you happier, they will only make you drunk, more shallow relationships will only make it harder. The more I think about life, and one does a lot of thinking when living alone, the more I realize how upside down the popular culture of this world has it. Here's my realization:
To truly enjoy the depths of relationship, complete exclusivity is required. The more exclusive you are, the more everything is offered, the deeper, the more fulfilling the joy. If you need more than one person to make you feel special, you're in trouble, because that means you're still so affected by the shallows around you. Your needs have made you shallow yourself.
This is why I can't write this post without going back to God. Because He really loves exclusively and offers everything. He has everything a man wants, yet He wants me most. He has acted perfectly towards me, yet forgives me. He doesn't need me, yet serves me. He is more beautiful than me, yet He pursues me. This is why no one has to stay in the shallows of their heart.
Maybe I'm becoming more like my dad, changing my tone from "this is ridiculous" to "she's the greatest". Maybe it's because I'm a little older, maybe it's because being the 7th wheel in every family gathering means team David only gets one vote, which is still a big vote with my stubbornness, or maybe the unthinkable has happened.
I once wrote in my post It's About What's Most Important, that someday, I would wave the white flag of surrender and write her name on my blog. In the words of Aragorn from Lord of the Rings, "But it is not this day! This day we fight!"
Thursday, June 14, 2012
You Are Free
From This Is Who You Are.
I don't care what anyone says, or what chains you feel are holding you down, you are free.
But before you make a very common mistake, and don't ever mistake that you are common, let me define what being "Free" means.
The origins of the word "free" come from a word that means "loved". In the olden days, when the privileged had slaves, those who were part of the family, were considered "not in bondage" or "pri" which meant "beloved".
To be free in those days meant that you were loved, and because you were loved, you could enjoy the privileges of a loved one. Unlike the slaves who were bound to their limitations, you were unhindered.
You see, the idea of being "free" was never about just being able to do what one wanted, where one wanted, when one wanted, how one wanted. It was about enjoying the privileges of being the beloved.
Because God loves us so much, and because His love is perfect, He has given us the privilege to enjoy life, meaning, we are free to choose to enjoy everything He has created. We are also free to choose whose love we want to enjoy.
What and whom you love, as well as what and whom you allow to love you, will dictate your life's privileges and the freedom you will enjoy.
Love a rich man and you'll be free to afford fine material things. Love a strong man and you'll be free to enjoy his strength. Love an artist and you'll be free to inspire art, and stories, and paintings. Love a wise man and you'll be free to enjoy his knowledge and insight. Love a famous man and you'll be free to enjoy the perks of fame. Love an adventurer and you'll be free to explore together.
Yet, if you love a selfish man, your privilege is limited to his selfishness. If you love a proud man, your privilege is limited to his pending fall. If you love a crooked man, your privilege is limited to his punishment. If you love a cheater, your privileges will be limited to the lack of trust.
If you love yourself, your privileges are limited to what you can provide for yourself - which, when we are very honest with ourselves, isn't much - so you'll always feel like you're missing something.
Who you love will dictate the freedom you enjoy.
Do not be like the people of the world, who bondage themselves by loving the wrong things. Do not love what is empty. Do not love what is fleeting. Money, fame, appearances, recognition, achievement, clothes, cars, houses, these are all fleeting, and empty without real relationships to enjoy them with. Do not love them and be caged by them.
We are ruled by that which we love.
Instead, remember that you are His beloved, and because you are loved perfectly by Him, His unlimited favor, His unlimited resources, His unlimited grace, and His unlimited presence is yours to to enjoy. You are truly free because you are loved by the One whose privileges are unlimited.
I want you to understand that and not envy the people who seem to be able to do whatever they choose. I want you to understand that as you seek to love God, your life will open up in unlimited ways. It may not be the freedom you thought you understood, it will be a greater freedom. As you submit yourself to Him, you are more and more made aware of the glorious portion that He has set aside for you, His beloved. Love goodness and reap the privileges of goodness. Love true beauty, and watch yourself get more and more beautiful. Love faith and see your life transform. Love God and get all the above and more.
I know you love God. I know this is true. This is why you are free. You are free to enjoy His privileges because you are His beloved.
This is who you are.
I don't care what anyone says, or what chains you feel are holding you down, you are free.
But before you make a very common mistake, and don't ever mistake that you are common, let me define what being "Free" means.
The origins of the word "free" come from a word that means "loved". In the olden days, when the privileged had slaves, those who were part of the family, were considered "not in bondage" or "pri" which meant "beloved".
To be free in those days meant that you were loved, and because you were loved, you could enjoy the privileges of a loved one. Unlike the slaves who were bound to their limitations, you were unhindered.
You see, the idea of being "free" was never about just being able to do what one wanted, where one wanted, when one wanted, how one wanted. It was about enjoying the privileges of being the beloved.
Because God loves us so much, and because His love is perfect, He has given us the privilege to enjoy life, meaning, we are free to choose to enjoy everything He has created. We are also free to choose whose love we want to enjoy.
What and whom you love, as well as what and whom you allow to love you, will dictate your life's privileges and the freedom you will enjoy.
Love a rich man and you'll be free to afford fine material things. Love a strong man and you'll be free to enjoy his strength. Love an artist and you'll be free to inspire art, and stories, and paintings. Love a wise man and you'll be free to enjoy his knowledge and insight. Love a famous man and you'll be free to enjoy the perks of fame. Love an adventurer and you'll be free to explore together.
Yet, if you love a selfish man, your privilege is limited to his selfishness. If you love a proud man, your privilege is limited to his pending fall. If you love a crooked man, your privilege is limited to his punishment. If you love a cheater, your privileges will be limited to the lack of trust.
If you love yourself, your privileges are limited to what you can provide for yourself - which, when we are very honest with ourselves, isn't much - so you'll always feel like you're missing something.
Who you love will dictate the freedom you enjoy.
Do not be like the people of the world, who bondage themselves by loving the wrong things. Do not love what is empty. Do not love what is fleeting. Money, fame, appearances, recognition, achievement, clothes, cars, houses, these are all fleeting, and empty without real relationships to enjoy them with. Do not love them and be caged by them.
We are ruled by that which we love.
Instead, remember that you are His beloved, and because you are loved perfectly by Him, His unlimited favor, His unlimited resources, His unlimited grace, and His unlimited presence is yours to to enjoy. You are truly free because you are loved by the One whose privileges are unlimited.
I want you to understand that and not envy the people who seem to be able to do whatever they choose. I want you to understand that as you seek to love God, your life will open up in unlimited ways. It may not be the freedom you thought you understood, it will be a greater freedom. As you submit yourself to Him, you are more and more made aware of the glorious portion that He has set aside for you, His beloved. Love goodness and reap the privileges of goodness. Love true beauty, and watch yourself get more and more beautiful. Love faith and see your life transform. Love God and get all the above and more.
I know you love God. I know this is true. This is why you are free. You are free to enjoy His privileges because you are His beloved.
This is who you are.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Give Them A Hero: Introduction
My dad sent me this message at 4:36am, and I would like to share a part of it because I know it will encourage you. It is also the perfect primer for my upcoming posts on heroism. I don't know if he was awake because he's catching another flight or because waking up early is in the blood, but it was nice to have my sun-rise-less thoughts interrupted by his encouragement. As Napoleon Bonaparte once said, "Courage is like love; it must have hope for nourishment."
Many of us have stopped nourishing our courage and love with hope. Many times this is because the past has disappointed us, the present overwhelms us, and the future is terrifyingly unsure. We don't want to hope, which means to "expect", to "look forward to", because it's safer to work with "sure things".
I, on a variety of occasions, have wanted to let go of the courage and love in my heart. To lower my expectations, to modify my dreams with reality, and to believe my fears and settle. The problem is, when we settle because of our fears, we actually settle with our fears.
Yet, in a world where there are so many fearful people, with a so many phobias, so many concerns, so many people running for cover, so many people settling, so many boxes unchecked, so many broken promises, failed expectations, disappointed hopes, and torn hearts, and in a world where there are so many messages that keep telling you "you're alone." , "your dreaming" , "you don't have what it takes" , "you've failed too big and too much", in that world, a special kind of character is needed.
We need a hero. Someone who will look into a broken past and say, "God had a reason". Someone who will look at the overwhelming present and say, "God is in control". Someone who will look into the unsure future and say, "God's promises are true."
Now let me share with you what my dad wrote me:
"...His sovereignty alone will tell us in time why things had to be the way they are. I constantly concern myself for you - even this morning. My prayer is that before God lifts your burdens off that you would realize that by faith He has given us incomparably great power simply by believing in Him (Ephesians 1:19, NIV), exceeding great power (NJKV), surpassing great power (NASB), incredible greatness of God's power (NLT), immeasurable greatness of His power (RSV) all that to say the unlimited greatness of His power is available today and everyday by faith. The most important muscle one can have. He is our Father and He alone is able to uphold us by His mighty power. This we do not by performing but simply by believing. Nothing pleases God more than faith. I love you David. Have a blessed day and may His power bring you all that you need."
I wish the same for all of you today, may you please God with your faith, and may His power bring you all that you need as you keep believing. And may you believe for others, and in the process, give them a hero.
Many of us have stopped nourishing our courage and love with hope. Many times this is because the past has disappointed us, the present overwhelms us, and the future is terrifyingly unsure. We don't want to hope, which means to "expect", to "look forward to", because it's safer to work with "sure things".
I, on a variety of occasions, have wanted to let go of the courage and love in my heart. To lower my expectations, to modify my dreams with reality, and to believe my fears and settle. The problem is, when we settle because of our fears, we actually settle with our fears.
Yet, in a world where there are so many fearful people, with a so many phobias, so many concerns, so many people running for cover, so many people settling, so many boxes unchecked, so many broken promises, failed expectations, disappointed hopes, and torn hearts, and in a world where there are so many messages that keep telling you "you're alone." , "your dreaming" , "you don't have what it takes" , "you've failed too big and too much", in that world, a special kind of character is needed.
We need a hero. Someone who will look into a broken past and say, "God had a reason". Someone who will look at the overwhelming present and say, "God is in control". Someone who will look into the unsure future and say, "God's promises are true."
Now let me share with you what my dad wrote me:
"...His sovereignty alone will tell us in time why things had to be the way they are. I constantly concern myself for you - even this morning. My prayer is that before God lifts your burdens off that you would realize that by faith He has given us incomparably great power simply by believing in Him (Ephesians 1:19, NIV), exceeding great power (NJKV), surpassing great power (NASB), incredible greatness of God's power (NLT), immeasurable greatness of His power (RSV) all that to say the unlimited greatness of His power is available today and everyday by faith. The most important muscle one can have. He is our Father and He alone is able to uphold us by His mighty power. This we do not by performing but simply by believing. Nothing pleases God more than faith. I love you David. Have a blessed day and may His power bring you all that you need."
I wish the same for all of you today, may you please God with your faith, and may His power bring you all that you need as you keep believing. And may you believe for others, and in the process, give them a hero.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
You Are Irreplaceable
From This Is Who You Are.
I don’t care what anyone says, you are irreplaceable. You have a purpose, a part in this story that only you can fulfill. There are friends, and family, and colleagues, and causes, and achievements, and responsibilities waiting for you. There are needs, and wants, and wounds, and hurts, and sicknesses calling your name.
You might say, “I’ve been replaced all my life. My father replaced me with work. My mother replaced me with chores and socials. My siblings replaced me with friends. My friends replaced me with cooler friends. My boyfriend replaced me with a prettier woman. My husband replaced me with a another woman. My own dreams have been replaced by fear and survival. I know not myself anymore.”
But let me set your thinking straight: You were not replaced. You were refined.
You are like a golden wedding ring that needs to be purified before it is shaped and its diamonds set, being prepared for a life of commitment to Him and the purpose He has for you.
Because you are irreplaceable, recognize what is truly irreplaceable – and don’t replace it. Don’t replace God with your needs and desires. Don’t replace love with your fears. Don’t replace your purpose, with your comfort.
There are many beautiful girls, maybe even some who look like you. Maybe they have your hair, your face, and you may think you’re like everyone else. Maybe they can do the things you do, maybe even better. Maybe they are thinner, fitter, more active, and more of everything you wish you were.
But they wouldn’t be you.
So stop comparing yourself to others. Stop trying to be like the idols of our culture. Don’t you see how easily replaced they are? One day famous, the next day forgotten, one day praised, and the next day unknown. They will sell their souls to stay, to avoid being replaced. If you make them your standard, you will sell yourself too, and join their roller coaster of never knowing whether you are truly loved.
You are not “a” rose. You are “the” rose because are my rose. You are unlike any girl in the world. How can one replace your life that has touched so many? How can one replace the purpose you are to fulfill? How can one replace you, when your role is only yours to play? No one will sing the melody in your heart. No one will say the encouraging your words you are supposed to say. No one will love the people you’re supposed to love in the way only you can love.
They can’t. They’re not you. You are irreplaceable.
This is who you are.
I don’t care what anyone says, you are irreplaceable. You have a purpose, a part in this story that only you can fulfill. There are friends, and family, and colleagues, and causes, and achievements, and responsibilities waiting for you. There are needs, and wants, and wounds, and hurts, and sicknesses calling your name.
You might say, “I’ve been replaced all my life. My father replaced me with work. My mother replaced me with chores and socials. My siblings replaced me with friends. My friends replaced me with cooler friends. My boyfriend replaced me with a prettier woman. My husband replaced me with a another woman. My own dreams have been replaced by fear and survival. I know not myself anymore.”
But let me set your thinking straight: You were not replaced. You were refined.
You are like a golden wedding ring that needs to be purified before it is shaped and its diamonds set, being prepared for a life of commitment to Him and the purpose He has for you.
Because you are irreplaceable, recognize what is truly irreplaceable – and don’t replace it. Don’t replace God with your needs and desires. Don’t replace love with your fears. Don’t replace your purpose, with your comfort.
There are many beautiful girls, maybe even some who look like you. Maybe they have your hair, your face, and you may think you’re like everyone else. Maybe they can do the things you do, maybe even better. Maybe they are thinner, fitter, more active, and more of everything you wish you were.
But they wouldn’t be you.
So stop comparing yourself to others. Stop trying to be like the idols of our culture. Don’t you see how easily replaced they are? One day famous, the next day forgotten, one day praised, and the next day unknown. They will sell their souls to stay, to avoid being replaced. If you make them your standard, you will sell yourself too, and join their roller coaster of never knowing whether you are truly loved.
You are not “a” rose. You are “the” rose because are my rose. You are unlike any girl in the world. How can one replace your life that has touched so many? How can one replace the purpose you are to fulfill? How can one replace you, when your role is only yours to play? No one will sing the melody in your heart. No one will say the encouraging your words you are supposed to say. No one will love the people you’re supposed to love in the way only you can love.
They can’t. They’re not you. You are irreplaceable.
This is who you are.
Daily Actions of Love
"Our culture says that feelings of love are the basis for actions of love. And of course that can be true. But it is truer to say that actions of love can lead consistently to feelings of love. Love between two people must not, in the end, be identified simply with emotion or merely with dutiful action. Married love is a symbiotic, complex mixture of both. Having said this, it is important to observe that of the two – emotion and action – it is the latter that we have the most control over. It is the action of love that we can promise to maintain every day."
- Timothy Kellter, The Meaning of Marriage
- Timothy Kellter, The Meaning of Marriage
Monday, June 11, 2012
You Are Priceless
From This Is Who You Are.
I don’t care what anyone says, you are priceless. You are worth more than you know, worth more than what anyone can afford. Don’t sell yourself for empty things.
Do not forget this:
"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces. (Matthew 7:6)
So many beautiful women have been torn apart, as the verse says, by selling themselves to dogs for shallow companionship, temporary thrills, empty validation, and superficial admiration.
What are your pearls? These are what are truly valuable to you (or what should be truly valuable to you). These include God’s purpose for you, your love, your attention, your strength, your thoughts, your mind, and your heart. These are gifts to you that you should treat as special. Don’t give them to just anyone.
Who are the dogs and pigs? These are the people, most of the time men, but many women as well, who do not have the right standards. They value the filling of their desires and their personal comfort and entertainment over you. These people can be smart, good-looking, opinionated, confident, nice, popular, and even friendly, but they will only tear you apart because they are selfish.
Selfishness blinds us from seeing what’s truly beautiful in a person because everyone and everything is measured based on how much we can get from a person. As soon as a person is useless, we discard them and think ourselves wise and mature for moving on.
Do not be like the dogs and pigs who are selfish, you will miss the beautiful blessings you already have. And do not give your heart, your soul, and your body to the dogs and pigs, they will only break your heart, tear your soul, and pollute your body.
Instead, remember that you are a diamond. You have been strengthened by pressure deep in your heart where no one could see or appreciated. You were taken by the hands of a loving Father, cleansed of your dirty stains, painfully cut to reveal your beautiful facets, and polished to shine.
When I see you, when I think about you, I know without doubt that you are meant to shine – and you already do a little brighter each day. You won’t notice it because you’re looking out at darkness, just as a star looks out into a black sky. But don’t be discouraged. Just because you’re surrounded by your own darkness, doesn’t mean your life is not shining a light for someone else.
So fix your eyes on the light of the Sun of our lives, the Son, Jesus, who out-paid everyone by paying with His life.
In the same way, do not ever settle for a man who will not lay his life down for you daily. Don’t be blinded by the world. Not all that glitters is gold. I know you know this in your heart, but sometimes we get overwhelmed and end up with regret.
When you find that man, lay your life down for him daily. Offer him your pearls. Offer him everything. You don’t need to fear; he understands that you’re priceless. With him you’ll shine together.
This is who you are.
I don’t care what anyone says, you are priceless. You are worth more than you know, worth more than what anyone can afford. Don’t sell yourself for empty things.
Do not forget this:
"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces. (Matthew 7:6)
So many beautiful women have been torn apart, as the verse says, by selling themselves to dogs for shallow companionship, temporary thrills, empty validation, and superficial admiration.
What are your pearls? These are what are truly valuable to you (or what should be truly valuable to you). These include God’s purpose for you, your love, your attention, your strength, your thoughts, your mind, and your heart. These are gifts to you that you should treat as special. Don’t give them to just anyone.
Who are the dogs and pigs? These are the people, most of the time men, but many women as well, who do not have the right standards. They value the filling of their desires and their personal comfort and entertainment over you. These people can be smart, good-looking, opinionated, confident, nice, popular, and even friendly, but they will only tear you apart because they are selfish.
Selfishness blinds us from seeing what’s truly beautiful in a person because everyone and everything is measured based on how much we can get from a person. As soon as a person is useless, we discard them and think ourselves wise and mature for moving on.
Do not be like the dogs and pigs who are selfish, you will miss the beautiful blessings you already have. And do not give your heart, your soul, and your body to the dogs and pigs, they will only break your heart, tear your soul, and pollute your body.
Instead, remember that you are a diamond. You have been strengthened by pressure deep in your heart where no one could see or appreciated. You were taken by the hands of a loving Father, cleansed of your dirty stains, painfully cut to reveal your beautiful facets, and polished to shine.
When I see you, when I think about you, I know without doubt that you are meant to shine – and you already do a little brighter each day. You won’t notice it because you’re looking out at darkness, just as a star looks out into a black sky. But don’t be discouraged. Just because you’re surrounded by your own darkness, doesn’t mean your life is not shining a light for someone else.
So fix your eyes on the light of the Sun of our lives, the Son, Jesus, who out-paid everyone by paying with His life.
In the same way, do not ever settle for a man who will not lay his life down for you daily. Don’t be blinded by the world. Not all that glitters is gold. I know you know this in your heart, but sometimes we get overwhelmed and end up with regret.
When you find that man, lay your life down for him daily. Offer him your pearls. Offer him everything. You don’t need to fear; he understands that you’re priceless. With him you’ll shine together.
This is who you are.
Friday, June 8, 2012
You Are Strong
From This Is Who You Are.
I don’t care what anyone says, you are strong. You might say, “I’m weak, needy, and broken.” And on your own, you are. You might say, “I’ve never fought. I’ve tried and lost. I might as well surrender.”
And there’s your answer: surrender – surrender to the One who loves you completely. Make Him your refuge (Psalm 91:9-16). Seek His strength (1 Corinthians 16:11). Make Him your assurance of success ((Philippians 4:13).
Do not be like the others who have become proud because they have all the answers and do not need to depend. They think they’re strong. They think they know. They think they’re in control. They can afford their needs. They can face their challenges. They can do whatever they want…
…until they no longer can, because every man, and woman, is limited.
Instead, find strength in dependence and courage in trust. So trust in the right people, most of all, trust in God – He is unlimited.
Picture a child on Christmas, loaded with so many gifts, she seems tiny next to the piles. She tries to choose which one to play with first, but can’t seem to decide. She tries to carry all of the gifts at once, and ends up dropping everything. She starts crying. When she saw the gifts she was excited, when she saw how big they were she was overjoyed, but her small mind and small hands couldn’t handle things.
From overjoyed to overwhelmed, she feels worse than she did before the gifts.
She knows she shouldn’t be sad, she’s surrounded with gifts after all, but she’s crying from disappointment.
“Why give me gifts if I can’t enjoy them anyway!”
Her Father, comes near, embraces her, and says, “Let me carry those for you.” With one arm He carries her gifts, and on the other, He lifts her close and says,
“I’m not just your Papa, you know?”
Still sniffling, she says, “I know. You’re my Mr. Fix-it.”
“I’m not just my Mr. Fix-it too.”
“I know. You’re my boo-boo doctor.”
“I’m more than your boo-boo doctor.”
“Yes, You’re also the real Santa.”
“Haha! A better-looking Santa, and more.”
“And more? How can You be so many people at once?”
“Because I am everything you need.”
In the innocence of her heart, she trusts His answer, and holds on to his neck.
He whispers in her ear, “My beautiful girl, do you want to play now?” Her drool dripping on his shoulder, already half-asleep she mumbles, “I love you, Papa.”
“I love you too. I love you completely.” He tells the resting child.
You are strong because you are loved.
This is who you are.
I don’t care what anyone says, you are strong. You might say, “I’m weak, needy, and broken.” And on your own, you are. You might say, “I’ve never fought. I’ve tried and lost. I might as well surrender.”
And there’s your answer: surrender – surrender to the One who loves you completely. Make Him your refuge (Psalm 91:9-16). Seek His strength (1 Corinthians 16:11). Make Him your assurance of success ((Philippians 4:13).
Do not be like the others who have become proud because they have all the answers and do not need to depend. They think they’re strong. They think they know. They think they’re in control. They can afford their needs. They can face their challenges. They can do whatever they want…
…until they no longer can, because every man, and woman, is limited.
Instead, find strength in dependence and courage in trust. So trust in the right people, most of all, trust in God – He is unlimited.
Picture a child on Christmas, loaded with so many gifts, she seems tiny next to the piles. She tries to choose which one to play with first, but can’t seem to decide. She tries to carry all of the gifts at once, and ends up dropping everything. She starts crying. When she saw the gifts she was excited, when she saw how big they were she was overjoyed, but her small mind and small hands couldn’t handle things.
From overjoyed to overwhelmed, she feels worse than she did before the gifts.
She knows she shouldn’t be sad, she’s surrounded with gifts after all, but she’s crying from disappointment.
“Why give me gifts if I can’t enjoy them anyway!”
Her Father, comes near, embraces her, and says, “Let me carry those for you.” With one arm He carries her gifts, and on the other, He lifts her close and says,
“I’m not just your Papa, you know?”
Still sniffling, she says, “I know. You’re my Mr. Fix-it.”
“I’m not just my Mr. Fix-it too.”
“I know. You’re my boo-boo doctor.”
“I’m more than your boo-boo doctor.”
“Yes, You’re also the real Santa.”
“Haha! A better-looking Santa, and more.”
“And more? How can You be so many people at once?”
“Because I am everything you need.”
In the innocence of her heart, she trusts His answer, and holds on to his neck.
He whispers in her ear, “My beautiful girl, do you want to play now?” Her drool dripping on his shoulder, already half-asleep she mumbles, “I love you, Papa.”
“I love you too. I love you completely.” He tells the resting child.
You are strong because you are loved.
This is who you are.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Imagination
“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.”
- Albert Einstein
- Albert Einstein
You Are Wise
From This Is Who You Are.
I don’t care what mistakes you’ve made or will make. I don’t care if you seem lost at times. You are wise. You are wise not because you’re smart or intelligent, but because you fear God and humble enough to learn.
To fear God means to be awed by His greatness. So stay in His presence through daily, all-day-long, prayer and worship. Don’t just mumble a request, call on Him to overwhelm you, and He will grant you His grace to do what you have to do and be who you have to be.
Remember the words: Do not conform to the pattern of this world. What is their pattern? The way they think, the things they do, the way they live, and their reasons and motivations. They think they choose for themselves, yet they are so easily swayed by opinion. They think they do what’s right, yet they’re so fearful and insecure. They think they’re living the life, yet they’re never fulfilled, never content. Their reasons and motivations are empty; they’re always wondering why they’re not happy and missing the gifts God has already bestowed.
You are not like these people. Do not walk in their ways.
Instead, surround yourself with people who will lead you to God, who will encourage you to be disciplined, who will believe in faith with you, and help you fight for the things you value. Develop your ability to discern past your feelings. Use your sensitivity to sense when something is wrong and wait on Him. When you hear, trust that it is God speaking to you, and run to Him. Use that same sensitivity to sense when something is right.
Stay humble. Keep Learning. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes. Most of all, trust in God. You are His daughter. This is who you are.
I don’t care what mistakes you’ve made or will make. I don’t care if you seem lost at times. You are wise. You are wise not because you’re smart or intelligent, but because you fear God and humble enough to learn.
To fear God means to be awed by His greatness. So stay in His presence through daily, all-day-long, prayer and worship. Don’t just mumble a request, call on Him to overwhelm you, and He will grant you His grace to do what you have to do and be who you have to be.
Remember the words: Do not conform to the pattern of this world. What is their pattern? The way they think, the things they do, the way they live, and their reasons and motivations. They think they choose for themselves, yet they are so easily swayed by opinion. They think they do what’s right, yet they’re so fearful and insecure. They think they’re living the life, yet they’re never fulfilled, never content. Their reasons and motivations are empty; they’re always wondering why they’re not happy and missing the gifts God has already bestowed.
You are not like these people. Do not walk in their ways.
Instead, surround yourself with people who will lead you to God, who will encourage you to be disciplined, who will believe in faith with you, and help you fight for the things you value. Develop your ability to discern past your feelings. Use your sensitivity to sense when something is wrong and wait on Him. When you hear, trust that it is God speaking to you, and run to Him. Use that same sensitivity to sense when something is right.
Stay humble. Keep Learning. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes. Most of all, trust in God. You are His daughter. This is who you are.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
You Are Special
From This Is Who You Are.
I don’t care what anyone says, or what you feel on your worst day, you are special, irreplaceable, and of great value. Your sins and the sins of others may sully you, but we have a Father who washes us as new.
Because you are special, be careful of what and whom you make special to you. What you value, you will draw close to, and what you draw close to will affect your life – for better or worse. Do not make special what the world makes special. In fact, be very wary with what crowds choose. They will choose the easiest, most comfortable, most entertaining path, and that path leads to suffering. Enjoy what they enjoy and you will suffer.
Instead, be set apart, and make God special. Draw close to Him and allow Him to affect you. Don’t desire to be special, you already are, desire instead to make special the lives of others.
I don’t care what anyone says, or what you feel on your worst day, you are special, irreplaceable, and of great value. Your sins and the sins of others may sully you, but we have a Father who washes us as new.
Because you are special, be careful of what and whom you make special to you. What you value, you will draw close to, and what you draw close to will affect your life – for better or worse. Do not make special what the world makes special. In fact, be very wary with what crowds choose. They will choose the easiest, most comfortable, most entertaining path, and that path leads to suffering. Enjoy what they enjoy and you will suffer.
Instead, be set apart, and make God special. Draw close to Him and allow Him to affect you. Don’t desire to be special, you already are, desire instead to make special the lives of others.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
You Are Beautiful
From This Is Who You Are.
I don’t care what anyone says, you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. Your soul is deep, full of life and love, you radiate from within. Don’t go for sexy, which means pleasurable for sex, it’s an empty reward that only lasts as good as the last admiration. When no one notices you, you’ll feel invisible again.
Instead, be beautiful, like the dawn is beautiful, bringing light to dark places and new hope where hope was lost.
Remember that only those who are awake can enjoy the sunrise. If people don’t appreciate your beauty it’s because they’re asleep, or worse, blind. Don’t waste your light on those who cannot see. This is who you are.
I don’t care what anyone says, you’re the most beautiful girl in the world. Your soul is deep, full of life and love, you radiate from within. Don’t go for sexy, which means pleasurable for sex, it’s an empty reward that only lasts as good as the last admiration. When no one notices you, you’ll feel invisible again.
Instead, be beautiful, like the dawn is beautiful, bringing light to dark places and new hope where hope was lost.
Remember that only those who are awake can enjoy the sunrise. If people don’t appreciate your beauty it’s because they’re asleep, or worse, blind. Don’t waste your light on those who cannot see. This is who you are.
This Is Who You Are
Trading Away…
It’s easy to spot a prostitute. This is someone who sells herself for money. I remember reading an article about a prostitute who said something like, “I’m not so bad when you think about how most people give themselves for less. At least I have a business.” It was a defiant, disturbing, yet thought provoking perspective that there are people, both men and women, who view women so lowly.
The sad thing is many are falling for this view, and are trading their futures, their families, their talents, their gifts, their fulfillment, and their beauty for empty things, empty relationships, empty validations, empty recognition, and empty promises.
I guess, in my own youthful chauvinism, I have contributed to this, but this is my own small way of repairing that.
A Deception…
We’ve bought into a lie. By we, I mean both men and women. We’ve bought into new definitions for timeless virtues. Beauty has been replaced by sexy and hot. Dignity and grace has been replaced by naughty and wild. Things and moments have replaced principles and purpose.
Our values are wrong. We have put emphasis on the wrong things and made the wrong things important.
Look at our stars? Both Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton came to prominence through their infamous sex videos. What makes them worth our time and attention? Nothing. Lady Gaga is huge, but mostly because she’s audacious and shocking. Look at our crushes? There’s a man crush, a girl crush, a celebrity crush, a school crush, a church crush, a yoga crush, a musical crush, a sports crush…
There’s a crush for everything. Our own identities, our own purpose and our own responsibilities have been crushed by idols with a cuter title.
I wrote about the Celebrity Crisis in one of my posts, how we put humans on pedestals. I added: “We’re pressured to become an air-brushed, fully-sponsored, cosmetically-altered, PR-aided person whose smartest lines were read from a script, and whose best moments took more than one take.” The deception is that you need to be like them to find satisfaction. I’m telling you now, you won’t. They are emptier than you. Follow them and you will be empty.
What Do You Value? One question I ask people who come to me for advice is, “What are your values?” or “What’s important to you?” I noticed that more often than not, people are actually surprised with the question. A few people will have clear values. Some will be able to think on the spot and blurt out their answers. Most don’t know what’s important to them. The problem with this is, when you don’t know what’s important, every choice becomes a tiring negotiation. Should I work? Should I be kind? Should I flirt? Should I be strong? Should I pray? Should I serve? Should I self-pity? Should I be generous? Should I obey? So many questions to negotiate through, you need to know what’s important. More often than not, with all the pressures of life, you’ll lose the negotiations. My suggestion is to really know your values, think about them, think through them, write them down, and live them.
This Is Who You Are
I’m hoping your father has told you this, but if he hasn’t, let me tell you who you are. When I thought this list up, I imagined myself with a daughter, a daughter that is entering a huge world full of messages, and voices, and opinions, and perspectives, full of advertisements, and movies, and shows, and music, and lyrics, and smart asses, and bad asses, angels, and demons, full of hurt, full of fear, full of lies, full of denial, full of opportunity, yet full of lost dreams, full of haunting regrets, full of so many beautiful things, and full of so many broken hearts breaking the hearts of others. I won’t be able to protect her at some point. I won’t be able to guide her all the time. She’s always welcome to run back, and I’ll always be there to remind her of who she is.
But if I had a girl, I would relentlessly speak these words so that she will always remember and never forget that:
You are beautiful.
You are special.
You are wise.
You are strong.
You are irreplaceable.
You are priceless.
You are free.
You are loved.
Please click on the links for more depth on these statements.
It’s easy to spot a prostitute. This is someone who sells herself for money. I remember reading an article about a prostitute who said something like, “I’m not so bad when you think about how most people give themselves for less. At least I have a business.” It was a defiant, disturbing, yet thought provoking perspective that there are people, both men and women, who view women so lowly.
The sad thing is many are falling for this view, and are trading their futures, their families, their talents, their gifts, their fulfillment, and their beauty for empty things, empty relationships, empty validations, empty recognition, and empty promises.
I guess, in my own youthful chauvinism, I have contributed to this, but this is my own small way of repairing that.
A Deception…
We’ve bought into a lie. By we, I mean both men and women. We’ve bought into new definitions for timeless virtues. Beauty has been replaced by sexy and hot. Dignity and grace has been replaced by naughty and wild. Things and moments have replaced principles and purpose.
Our values are wrong. We have put emphasis on the wrong things and made the wrong things important.
Look at our stars? Both Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton came to prominence through their infamous sex videos. What makes them worth our time and attention? Nothing. Lady Gaga is huge, but mostly because she’s audacious and shocking. Look at our crushes? There’s a man crush, a girl crush, a celebrity crush, a school crush, a church crush, a yoga crush, a musical crush, a sports crush…
There’s a crush for everything. Our own identities, our own purpose and our own responsibilities have been crushed by idols with a cuter title.
I wrote about the Celebrity Crisis in one of my posts, how we put humans on pedestals. I added: “We’re pressured to become an air-brushed, fully-sponsored, cosmetically-altered, PR-aided person whose smartest lines were read from a script, and whose best moments took more than one take.” The deception is that you need to be like them to find satisfaction. I’m telling you now, you won’t. They are emptier than you. Follow them and you will be empty.
What Do You Value? One question I ask people who come to me for advice is, “What are your values?” or “What’s important to you?” I noticed that more often than not, people are actually surprised with the question. A few people will have clear values. Some will be able to think on the spot and blurt out their answers. Most don’t know what’s important to them. The problem with this is, when you don’t know what’s important, every choice becomes a tiring negotiation. Should I work? Should I be kind? Should I flirt? Should I be strong? Should I pray? Should I serve? Should I self-pity? Should I be generous? Should I obey? So many questions to negotiate through, you need to know what’s important. More often than not, with all the pressures of life, you’ll lose the negotiations. My suggestion is to really know your values, think about them, think through them, write them down, and live them.
This Is Who You Are
I’m hoping your father has told you this, but if he hasn’t, let me tell you who you are. When I thought this list up, I imagined myself with a daughter, a daughter that is entering a huge world full of messages, and voices, and opinions, and perspectives, full of advertisements, and movies, and shows, and music, and lyrics, and smart asses, and bad asses, angels, and demons, full of hurt, full of fear, full of lies, full of denial, full of opportunity, yet full of lost dreams, full of haunting regrets, full of so many beautiful things, and full of so many broken hearts breaking the hearts of others. I won’t be able to protect her at some point. I won’t be able to guide her all the time. She’s always welcome to run back, and I’ll always be there to remind her of who she is.
But if I had a girl, I would relentlessly speak these words so that she will always remember and never forget that:
You are beautiful.
You are special.
You are wise.
You are strong.
You are irreplaceable.
You are priceless.
You are free.
You are loved.
Please click on the links for more depth on these statements.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Crumbling Walls
Crumbling walls
Crumbling strength
I put my trust in You
Failing heart
Failing mind
I put my trust in You
Future dimming
The present spinning
I put my trust in You
Hurt is seething
Love is leaving
I put my trust in You
Saturday, June 2, 2012
The Little Prince and the Fox
My favorite conversation from one of my favorite books, The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery. I recommend reading through the whole dialogue, the best nuggets are at the end.
It was then that the fox appeared.
"Good morning" said the fox.
"Good morning" the little prince responded politely, although when he turned around he saw nothing.
"I am right here" the voice said, "under the apple tree."
"Who are you?" asked the little prince, and added, "You are very pretty to look at."
"I am a fox," the fox said.
"Come and play with me," proposed the little prince, "I am so unhappy."
"I cannot play with you," the fox said, "I am not tamed."
"Ah please excuse me," said the little prince. But after some thought, he added: "What does that mean--'tame'?"
"You do not live here," said the fox,
"What is it you are looking for?"
"I am looking for men," said the little prince.
"What does that mean--tame?"
"Men,"said the fox, "they have guns, and they hunt. It is very disturbing. They also raise chickens. These are their only interests. Are you looking for chickens?"
"No," said the little prince. "I am looking for friends. What does that mean--tame?"
"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. "It means to establish ties."
"To establish ties?"
"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . ."
"I am beginning to understand," said the little prince. "There is a flower . . . I think she has tamed me . . . "
"It is possible," said the fox. "On earth one sees all sorts of things."
"Oh, but this is not on the earth!" said the little prince.
The fox seemed perplexed, and very curious. "On another planet?"
"Yes."
"Are there hunters on that planet?"
"No."
"Ah, that is interesting! Are there chickens?"
"No."
"Nothing is perfect," sighed the fox. But he came back to his idea. "My life is very monotonous," he said. "I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat . . . "
The fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time. "Please--tame me!" he said.
"I want to, very much," the little prince replied. "But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand."
"One only understands the things that one tames," said the fox. "Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me . . . "
"What must I do, to tame you? asked the little prince.
"You must be very patient," replied the fox. First you will sit down at a little distance from me--like that--in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day . . . "
The next day the little prince came back.
"It would have been better to come back at the same hour," said the fox. "If for example, you came at four o'clock in the afternoon, then at three o'clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o'clock, I shall be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is ready to greet you . . . One must observe the proper rites . . . "
"What is a rite?" asked the little prince.
"Those also are actions too often neglected," said the fox. "They are what make one day different from other days, one hour different from other hours. There is a rite, for example, among my hunters. Every Thursday they dance with the village girls. So Thursday is a wonderful day for me! I can take a walk as far as the vineyards. But if the hunters danced at just any time, every day would be like every other day, and I should never have any vacation at all."
So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near--
"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."
"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you . . . "
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"Then it has done you no good at all!"
"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." And then he added: "Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret."
The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.
"You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made a friend, and now he is unique in all the world."
And the roses were very much embarrassed.
"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose."
And he went back to meet the fox. "Goodbye," he said. "Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.
"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."
"It is the time I have wasted for my rose---" said the little prince so he would be sure to remember.
"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose . . . "
"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.
It was then that the fox appeared.
"Good morning" said the fox.
"Good morning" the little prince responded politely, although when he turned around he saw nothing.
"I am right here" the voice said, "under the apple tree."
"Who are you?" asked the little prince, and added, "You are very pretty to look at."
"I am a fox," the fox said.
"Come and play with me," proposed the little prince, "I am so unhappy."
"I cannot play with you," the fox said, "I am not tamed."
"Ah please excuse me," said the little prince. But after some thought, he added: "What does that mean--'tame'?"
"You do not live here," said the fox,
"What is it you are looking for?"
"I am looking for men," said the little prince.
"What does that mean--tame?"
"Men,"said the fox, "they have guns, and they hunt. It is very disturbing. They also raise chickens. These are their only interests. Are you looking for chickens?"
"No," said the little prince. "I am looking for friends. What does that mean--tame?"
"It is an act too often neglected," said the fox. "It means to establish ties."
"To establish ties?"
"Just that," said the fox. "To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world . . ."
"I am beginning to understand," said the little prince. "There is a flower . . . I think she has tamed me . . . "
"It is possible," said the fox. "On earth one sees all sorts of things."
"Oh, but this is not on the earth!" said the little prince.
The fox seemed perplexed, and very curious. "On another planet?"
"Yes."
"Are there hunters on that planet?"
"No."
"Ah, that is interesting! Are there chickens?"
"No."
"Nothing is perfect," sighed the fox. But he came back to his idea. "My life is very monotonous," he said. "I hunt chickens; men hunt me. All chickens are just alike, and all the men are just alike. And in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music out of my burrow. And then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheat fields have nothing to say to me. And that is sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat . . . "
The fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time. "Please--tame me!" he said.
"I want to, very much," the little prince replied. "But I have not much time. I have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand."
"One only understands the things that one tames," said the fox. "Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. If you want a friend, tame me . . . "
"What must I do, to tame you? asked the little prince.
"You must be very patient," replied the fox. First you will sit down at a little distance from me--like that--in the grass. I shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. Words are the source of misunderstandings. But you will sit a little closer to me, every day . . . "
The next day the little prince came back.
"It would have been better to come back at the same hour," said the fox. "If for example, you came at four o'clock in the afternoon, then at three o'clock I shall begin to be happy. I shall feel happier and happier as the hour advances. At four o'clock, I shall be worrying and jumping about. I shall show you how happy I am! But if you come at just any time, I shall never know at what hour my heart is ready to greet you . . . One must observe the proper rites . . . "
"What is a rite?" asked the little prince.
"Those also are actions too often neglected," said the fox. "They are what make one day different from other days, one hour different from other hours. There is a rite, for example, among my hunters. Every Thursday they dance with the village girls. So Thursday is a wonderful day for me! I can take a walk as far as the vineyards. But if the hunters danced at just any time, every day would be like every other day, and I should never have any vacation at all."
So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near--
"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."
"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you . . . "
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.
"Yes, that is so," said the fox.
"Then it has done you no good at all!"
"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." And then he added: "Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret."
The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.
"You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made a friend, and now he is unique in all the world."
And the roses were very much embarrassed.
"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose."
And he went back to meet the fox. "Goodbye," he said. "Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."
"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.
"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."
"It is the time I have wasted for my rose---" said the little prince so he would be sure to remember.
"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose . . . "
"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.
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