Love is ended before it's begun
- Nat King Cole
I know I'm known for being an Asian Professor Higgins, but I have to say, that really inspires me."
- Brothers Bonifacio: Now Showing
Another One Bites the Dust
So my younger brother, Joshua, got engaged to his long-time girlfriend, Kristie, and just like that another Bonifacio Brother is stolen away. I'm reminded of a scene from one of my favourite movies:
I'm so happy for my brother. He's found an amazing woman in Kristie. There are a lot of beautiful girls, and pretty faces, a lot of talented ones, and a lot of friendly and pleasant personalities, but to have all of the above mixed in with work ethic, humility, and an immensely kind and generous heart is a rare thing. My brother found a gem in Krisite, and the amazing thing is she's truly crazy about him.
To have one person crazy about you brings butterflies, to have someone of incredible quality crazy about you brings dignity.
Already, there are two stories that have really made me proud to be brother and future-brother-in-law to these two. One is, after the proposal, Kristie tells Josh, "My only request is that you'll lead us to God, try your best at whatever you do, it doesn't have to be big, just try your best, and lessen your drinking."
In a world full of entitled people, including me, with a million different fantasies for what we want in a partner, here was a woman with admirable clarity of values saying, "This is what's important to me: that we honor God together and that you become the best version of yourself."
The 2nd story is how, after the New Year countdown, my brother and his fiancé, moved to a corner to pray. Her newly married brother and his wife would join them, and these two young couples would dedicate the new year to God.
Listening to Joshua tell me these stories, I was wondering who the stranger talking was and "What had he done to Josh?"
But I guess, as another brother bites the dust, out rose a new man, a brave man, a loving man, a leader. I'm shown a clear example of how life-laying love transforms not just the loved but also the lover. And once again, I'm reminded of why there's hope for mankind.
Am I Next?
My family has placed their bets on Vito getting married before me but I may just surprise everyone by beating my mom's 2 year old shitzu to the altar. Besides, we've already had this conversation on the episode: Our Father's Favor.
When I Fall In Love
I'm a lucky guy. I'm sandwiched by two brothers with amazing relationships, not perfect, far from perfect, but amazing, and I'm looking up at the two most incompatible people in the world, my folks, breaking the 30 year mark together. Walking home, after the engagement, I hung back a little to take a photo of my brothers and their females walking together holding hands. Joe holding Carla's hand and Josh holding Kristie's. I really like that picture now.
I know these two couples are going to go the distance. I don't just hope so, I know so. I know so because I know the people involved. I know that at the end of the day, God will be honoured before entitlements are claimed. I know that they won't keep a record of wrongs, because they understand that God has not kept a record of their wrongs. I know that they'll lay down their lives for each other as Jesus laid His life for them.
A few days ago I looked for the words "unconditional love" in the Bible. And after searching and searching, I actually found no phrase with the words "unconditional love". Maybe some of you can help me find it. I had a thought, all the relationships I admire contain two people who aren't making claims to the other's "unconditional love". They're too busy working together to place the conditions needed for love to thrive.
Love is like a plant that needs the proper conditions to grow. A plant grows in conditions where there is sunlight and water. Maybe love is the same way. Maybe we should spend less time thinking about "how I'm loved" and spend more time on "How I love". Maybe the question isn't "Am I loved unconditionally?" Maybe the question is, "Are we providing the right conditions for our love to grow?" I don't know. It's an idea. And I'm no expert. I'm asking smarter people at the moment. Maybe I'll write about it in the future.
All I know for now is this, when I fall in love, at least the next time I do (Haha!), I'll be taking pages from the two better members of the Bonifacio Brothers trio, because for whatever reason, in this area, these two have gotten it right.